The Smell of the Season

Something’s in the air, and it’s not spring fever, whooping cough, or love.

A few days ago my mom said something to me about all of the positively rated movies in theaters now. A popular movie review site that I’ve mentioned frequently in posts, rottentomatoes.com, as of November 28^th has eight positively-reviewed movies that are included in the top box office, which includes ten total. That’s a really strong percentage but, for this time of the year, completely normal.

“Do you smell that, Mom?” I asked. “It’s Oscar season.” (She answered with a, “What the hell are you talking about, Mason?”, but that’s not important. I was right.)

Any movie that wants a good chance at winning an Oscar in February is released a month or two before the deadline for nominations is. That way, the movie (actors, script, director, even the sound-mixing and cinematography (whatever the hell that is)) is fresh in the voters’ memory when they get their ballot in the mail.

I mean, imagine if Obama had only campaigned for the 2012 election at the beginning of his first term of office and Mitt Romney campaigned for a year up to voting day. Hardly anyone would even remember Obama’s campaign, Romney would’ve probably won, and we would now be getting ready for that.

 

Since late October, the number of movies certified as “rotten” (meaning less than 60% of critics gave it a good review) on RT has gone down each week. The weekend of the 26^th, the number of “fresh” movies was only three (two of them barely making the cut). The first weekend of November had four, then there were two weeks of six. Now the number is eight.

 

I have sort of a love-hate relationship with this pattern. I go to the movie theater a lot more often during this time of the year and my parents leave me home alone to do the same (which I totally love because then I can do whatever I want, which usually ends up being watching movies on TV or going on Tumblr; this is ironic because it’s what I do when they’re home, too). The hate part comes in when I open my wallet to see if I have enough money to see a fourth or fifth movie for that month. I don’t. (About the worst time for a bunch of awesome movies to be released is during the buy-a-gift-for-everyone-you’ve-ever-talked-to (pronounced kris-muh s) season.) Instead I have to sit in my house, watching movies on TV or going on Tumblr.

 

Because most of the hard-hitting, amazingly-written, well-acted, perfectly edited movies are released in the last few months of the year, this leads January and February to be kind of a crap sack. And not that great movies don’t get released during the first nine months of the year (after all, Inception came out in July of 2010 and won for visual effects, cinematography, sound editing, and sound mixing at the following Oscars), these gems are just slightly rare.

Citizen Kane, Only Not

Citizen Kane is one of those movies I've always heard about. A classic. It's been referenced relentlessly in popular cultural for its famous “Rosebud” and got great reviews. So, this week, when I really had no idea of what to write about for this last blog post for a while, I thought, “Why not just watch Citizen Kane?” just like that.

Of course, though, with me being completely lazy, I really didn't want to get off of my ass and drive five minutes to the video store. So then I thought, “Why not just watch it illegally online?” Unfortunately, though, watching movies illegally online is not as easy as everyone probably says. I couldn't find any sites that weren't blocked on my computer to watch the movie, but I did find one that kept playing these Chinese videos and I started to feel fuzzy after a while and suspected brainwash, so I gave up on my search to find Citizen Kane on the interwebs.

I've already gone through all of the movies in my house, and although we have a lot, I just didn't think I could pull out four hundred words for any of them. I guess I could go back down to my basement and look again, but that would require me getting up, and...no. Just no.

From what I've seen of short clips on Youtube of the 1941 film, it would definitely be classified as an oldie but goodie. I mean, movies back then were in black in white, the shots crowded, and the sound off. For someone born over half a century after the film was released, I can't really talk about how old the movie seems; it's a given. But hopefully soon I can find the time and energy to rent Citizen Kane. My mom always talks to me about culturing myself and watching old movies is the easiest way I can think of doing that. So yeah. Fin.

Door is Not a Jar

Yes. It’s another Halloween post.

My childhood was a magical time. Disney movies were still original and Lindsay Lohan wasn’t a cracked-up whore mess. Bush was still president and I’m pretty sure most paints still contained lead. Just…magical.

As Halloween approached every year, besides making the ever-important decision to what my costume would be (starting in 1996: jack-o-lantern, clown, Simba, witch, M &M, devil, devil, gypsy, devil, witch, robber, car crash victim, Hannah Montana, robber, robber, robber. Okay, yeah. I was getting lazy with my costumes and my mom, chagrin about me leaving the house wielding a fake gun), was the rising anticipation for the great Mainframe Entertainment movie, Scary Godmother.

Based on the 1997 book by Jill Thompson, this movie was originally only released in Europe, Canada, and Latin America. Eventually it got around to the United States and has showed on Cartoon Network every Halloween since 2004.

Growing up, I wasn’t really allowed to watch Cartoon Network because of its somewhat violent and scary shows (I’m talking Courage the Cowardly Dog, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and even The Powerpuff Girls. Yes, I blame my parents for the deprived childhood I had), so watching Scary Godmother was kind of a big deal for me.

My sister and I love the movie. We love it. Even to this day when it’s on we call the other up to inform them. We’re pretty legitimate teenagers.

It’s not scary, nor is it supposed to be (the vampires are kind of creepy, though. Remember when vampires weren’t sexy, sparkly heartthrobs?), but it’s funny and sort of dorky and terribly animated. Scary Godmother is just a cute move that my sister and I don’t want to leave behind as we grow up. (It’s the same reason she still sleeps with her giant Dill doll from Rugrats even though the doll it’s completely freaky.)

I probably like watching this movie more now than I did as a kid; I get some of the jokes I was too stupid to understand when I was eight. One of the kids in the movie, Bert, dresses as a baseball player in an SUV for Halloween. Throughout the movie, he pretends to really be in a car, rolling down the “window” so that he can hear what people are saying and even repeating, “Door is ajar” over and over until someone closes the pretend door. Of course, when I was younger I thought Bert was calling the door a jar. Yeah…

Whether it’s freaky-ass vampires or confusing door-jars, Spooky Godmother is pretty awesome. When I’m older, I’ll show it to my kids and they better love it or I’ll refuse to feed them until they do. Oh, motherhood.

The Others: Best Scary Movie (from a Girl Who's Only Seen Three)

It shouldn't be any surprise to you that it's fall. The weather's changing; you find yourself less disgusted by over-weight girls in short-shorts but more in over-weight girls in yoga pants. Everyone is updating their Facebook statuses to express their love for this season and I sort of agree. I mean, the trees are pretty, the bugs are dying, and I don't have to shave my legs anymore. It's pretty great. But around early October all of the new scary movie promotions start and I'm left debating whether I was wrong.
I hate scary movies. They're just awful and that's why I've only seen like three of them.
It's been said before (by me,nonetheless) how, these days, scary movies unoriginal and uninspired. I definitely also don't want to spend ten dollars to get the crap scared out of me for two hours (because no matter how stupid the scary movie is, it'll still scare the bejesus out of me). The same goes for haunted houses.
I will admit that I've seen a few of these movies that are good over the years, though. A few. Those are the exception, not the rule.
Like The Others. It's a pretty kick-ass movie. Starring Nicole Kidman, the movie was nominated for the BAFTA Best Original Screenplay Award (for a horror film that's a pretty big feat). I was pretty reluctant to watch it at first (see above paragraph), but my mom convinced me and I found myself pleasantly surprised.
During the whole movie, Grace Stewart (Kidman) thinks her new house is haunted by ghosts. Some crazy and creepy stuff goes down that I can't remember but there's something to do with a piano and a room filled with things covered in white sheets (aren't I the best at blogging?). Stuff gets really creepy when Grace finds a book of the dead in the house's attic that includes a picture of, oh no big deal, just the house-hands that have been helping her family move in for the past few weeks. IN THE BOOK OF THE DEAD.
As it turns out, Grace herself is really dead, along with her children (whom she killed in hysteria after her husband was lost, or something). The “ghosts” in the house are actually living people trying to get rid of the ghosts that haunt their new house. The house Grace thought was her new house that was haunted by ghosts. It's pretty trippy.
I know my summary of this movie is completely subpar, but it's seriously the best scary movie I've ever seen. And the best out of three is pretty good, I would say.

Teach Your Children How to Avoid Being Eaten by Evil Spirits

Most people my age have never heard the name Hayao Miyazaki, or if they have, it was because of his film, Ponyo, released in 2008. But Miyazaki has had a number of films released in Japan and the United States (which he’s written/produced/directed/animated and any combination of those) since the early sixties.

I first heard of Hayao Miyazaki through my sister, a lover of everything and anything Japanese. She showed me one of his films, Spirited Away (2001), and I instantly fell in love. Unlike Disney and Pixar, Miyazaki’s films have somewhat of a dark sense to them. And by somewhat, I mean some of them are pretty messed up. In a good way, though.

Like in Spirited Away, Chihiro finds herself stuck in another world which includes a bath house for spirits. She sells herself away to the evil witch, Yubaba, to save her parents (who were turned into pigs), and ends up having to save the bath house from an evil spirit, aptly named No Face, that keeps eating the other workers, the whole time trying to make sure her parents aren’t eaten.

It's one of my favorite movies, obviously.

Another one of Miyazaki’s movies that I love is Howl's Moving Castle, whose American version includes the voices of Christian Bale, Billy Crystal, and Josh Hutcherson. This one is a little less dark, but there is a witch that turns a girl into an old woman and a guy who occasionally turns into a bird and something about eating hearts. So yeah.

Then there’s Castle in the Sky (which I’m pretty sure I watched at one point, but can’t remember anything about except for some giant robots covered in plants) and My Neighbor Tortoro (giant fluffy bear-thing? I should really re-watch these).

It’s sort of unfortunate because these are all really great movies that follow absolutely no archetypes, but have their own crazy plot and characters. They have strong themes between the dark events. The thing is, not a lot of people in this country have seen more than one or so of Miyazaki’s movies. Other than Ponyo and maybe Spirited Away (which won Best Animated Feature in 2002), these films are pretty unknown to most Americans.

I can't imagine growing up not seeing his films, but I sort of see why maybe some parents maybe aren't lining up at the video store to buy them so that they can show their kids. Miyazaki films don't have the cookie cutter themes that Disney and Pixar films have: always be yourself, don't judge others, treat them the way you want to be treated. Mostly Miyazaki's films teach children how to avoid being eaten by spirits.

Not Another "The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas"

I’ve laughed at a lot of things I shouldn’t have (see title). A lot. It’s hard not to. I’ll be watching somebody cry over their son’s dead body in a movie and I’ll be sad, but then think, “Man, wouldn’t it be awful if I started laughing right now?” And immediately, as if I said the magic words, I’ll start laughing. It’s like when someone tells you not to think about elephants. You immediately start thinking about elephants, right? You can’t help it, and I can’t help the fact that I’m an awful person.

So recently, when I watched the 2008 movie, Tropic Thunder, and there were gruesome images of blown-to-pieces hands and decapitated heads, offensive terms used frequently, and babies thrown, what could be funnier to a girl like me?

Although these don't seem like the most light-hearted, let alone funny, things for a comedy to include, Tropic Thunder is hilarious. Co-written (along with Justin Theroux) and directed by Ben Stiller and starring a plethora of other funny actors (Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Bill Hader) and some not known for their comedy-chops, but still plenty good (Tom Cruise, Matthew McConaughey, Nick Nolte), this movie is makes it hard not to laugh at the awful things that go down in it.

The film is based around a group of actors (Stiller himself, Downey Jr., Black, and others) attempting to make a movie based on the true story of a Vietnam War veteran (Nolte), but find themselves instead trapped in Southeast Asia in the middle of a heroin-producing gang’s territory.

Tropic Thunder received its share of criticism for its controversial content before being released for a few reasons. First was the offensive terms. I mean, there were a few, one of which was used about a thousand times. When I first watched this movie, it was on TV, so not only were there lots of “freaking”s, but also “simple”s and “stupid”s. In the straight-up movie version they weren't so nice.

More criticism of the movie surrounded the character Kirk Lazarus (Downey Jr.), who got skin-pigmentation alteration surgery to darken his skin for the movie in order to play a black character. Downey Jr. ended up being nominated for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Tropic Thunder, though, so it seems as though he was doing something right.

Seriously, though, this movie is hilarious. In an industry filled with over-used jokes and writers being afraid of going “too far” with the ones that are original, it was nice just to sit down with friends, eat my weight in sugar, and laugh at the horribly funny jokes that were wonderfully delivered by an all-star cast.

What I Don't Get About Anna Kendrick

Blogger's note: When I first started writing this post, there were a lot of numbers that I didn't want to deal with, so I combined my laziness with my love of graphs and made a few that analyze the numbers so that I didn't have to.

There are many roller coasters one can have in their lifetime: emotional, the literal, amusement park, kind. Also, apparently, one that applies to movie success.

I've been aware of actress Anna Kendrick since probably around when she was nominated for Best Actress in a Supporting Role for Up in the Air in 2010. Since then I've sort of followed her and what movies she's been in, only to be really confused because of such. Most actors and actresses have a diverse range of movie success, but Kendrick has been involved in almost polar-opposites. It's not just that a seemingly-good movie of hers does poorly, but every one that does so looks awful to begin with (I'm talking about you, Twilight Saga).

Anna Kendrick got her start in two low budget films, Camp (2003) and Rocket Science (2007), but no one really cares about those two because, like I said, low budget. Then in 2008, you could say that she got her break-out role in Twilight.

Since then, Kendrick has been on a critical roller coaster, moving from critically-acclaimed, Academy Award-nominated films to The Twilight Saga (I like to think that she was under contract and had to star in the remaining Twilight films, but I really have no idea) and a few others that tanked.

It's not only that, but some of the good movies she's been in have also starred some of Hollywood's dreamiest men (and I'm not talking about Robert Pattinson, you guys). It started in 2009, almost two years after her breakthrough; the role she was nominated for an Oscar was also the role where she costarred with George Clooney (there's a reason he was named People's Sexiest Man Alive twice).

After more hills, she starred in the 2011 comedy-drama, 50/50, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. You know the deal: hot costar, awesome reviews, more fame, goes back to sucky movies the next year. (Realize that when I say "sucky movies", I mostly mean The Twilight Saga, but she was also in What to Expect When You're Expecting (2012) and that bombed, too.)

This past year, Kendrick has been pretty good. With the exception of WtEWYE, she's starred in three well-received movies: ParaNorman, End of Watch (hot costar number three: Jake Gyllenhaal), and Pitch Perfect. Don't hold your breath, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 2 comes out later this year and she'll take a dip again. (Update: Hey, well it turns out that she isn't in the final Twilight film. Good for you, Kendrick. You made it out alive.)

Another thing that I noticed is that there seems to be no middle-ground with her movies; either they do really well critically and gross less than one hundred million dollars or they are the worst of the worst and gross hundreds of millions of dollars (I'm talking about you, Twilight Saga). It's an unfortunate correlation.

I really just think that Anna Kendrick needs to get out of Twilight. I mean, yeah, she already is. After this year, she'll be free and hopefully stay away from these freaking teen-romance films and stick with her critically-acclaimed, Academy Award-nominated, hot guy-costarring films that seem to do her well.