Only a Last Resort

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live as equals with walking, talking bears? Well then maybe you should reassess your goals, because I, for one, have always and had a glimpse into what this life would be like when I watched Disney's The Country Bears.

I had seen it before, a few times actually, when I was younger. Even then I knew that it was an absolutely ridiculous movie. I mean, it's just Earth, but with some very evolved bears that are just like humans. Like humans, they speak the native language, wear clothes (except for pants, sometimes), and start bands.

The movie starts out with Beary, a young bear questioning his place in his family full of humans. For some reason he leaves without notice to go and see his the sight of his favorite band's, The Country Bears, last performance at Country Bear Hall. Beary finds out that the hall is about to be demolished, so he sets out again to get the band back together with hopes that they can play and save the building.

Being the first time I've watched it I-don't-know-how-many years, I was actually pretty surprised at how much it wasn't completely eye-gougingly bad (except for the music. That was still awful beyond belief). Even though TCB is rated-G, that didn't stop anyone from writing in jokes like how one of the bears “never got off the honey”, which I enjoyed. I think that the epic-ridiculousness of it added to the humor.

And okay, yeah, it's not a “thinker” like Inception or V for Vendetta, but you have to get past the fact that this so simple and filled with politically-incorrect bears who live like humans (now that I think about it, it's super disturbing. I mean, bears are still mauling people today and this movie just shows them living together. It's not a nice thought or hope for the future; it's just creepy) and just watch it. Or don't. I'm definitely not recommending anyone to watch this, because you'll probably end up coming to my house with armfuls of rotten tomatoes.

So maybe you shouldn't watch The Country Bears. And maybe you shouldn't show your kids because it's pretty freaky and possibly scarring. But if you ever just don't have any plans on a Friday night (as I often don't), don't spend it crying yourself to sleep; go ahead and watch the movie and you'll feel better about your life immediately because it's bound to be better than the writers' after The Country Bears came out.

Pixar: The New Disney?

Between the years of 1995 and 2010 Pixar Animation Studios was known for its creative, original, funny, and critically-acclaimed films that attracted audiences both of children and the adults that took them to see the movies (it was a chore for no one). The geniuses behind the scenes pushed out ten films ranking between 92 and 99% on the popular critic review site, rottentomatoes.com. They even managed two sequels in this. Many wondered when the roll that Pixar was on would end. That day came on June 24, 2011 when Cars 2 was released.
In 1999 Toy Story 2, Pixar's first sequel, was released. It got great reviews (100% on Rotten Tomatoes) and even spawned Toy Story 3. That was a miracle. Not even the legendary Godfather trilogy did as well critically. Pixar should have quit making sequels while they were ahead, but instead they released Cars 2 (whose predecessor wasn't even that good of a movie; it maintains a 74% on Rotten Tomatoes, the lowest before the sequel) in 2011.
To say the least, it tanked, even for a non-Pixar movie. Critics gave it an average of 38% (certified “rotten”).My sister, who hated Cars, cursed the movie's sequel for tarnishing her beloved Pixar's record. The studio had it's first chance to redeem itself in 2012 with Brave.
It seemed like this movie, set in old-Ireland about a young girl, Merida, wishing to change her fate, had a good chance to take back what Cars had lost Pixar. And while some (like my sister) say it did (it earned 77% on Rotten Tomatoes, a dismal for old Pixar), I was thoroughly disappointed.This studio was known for its incredibly original movies. They've had talking, mischievous toys, a war between insects and grasshoppers, and a monster-run power company collecting children's screams. They've even had a fish in search of his son, who's lost on land (you've heard about people lost at sea. Imagine what it's like for fish up here.)
The biggest problem I have with Brave is that it's just not original. Don't tell me it is, because it's not. The only slightly original aspect of the movie I can think of is that it takes place in Ireland (oh my gosh).
Merida makes a wish to change her life, it isn't what she expected, she regrets it, there's a race against time to change her life back before it's permanent. We've heard this all before.
It just wasn't the comeback movie I wanted Pixar to have. I mean, they're getting there at least.A note to the studio: stop making sequels. Just this past year it was announced that their next movie is going to be Monsters University, a prequel to Monsters, Inc. Rumors have been going around that Toy Story 4 and Finding Nemo 2 are in the early stages of development. I'm just afraid that our beloved old-Pixar movies are going to be ruined if these sequels suck ass. Maybe Pixar is the new Disney (while it is a part of Walt Disney Pictures). Maybe they've had their golden age and it's all c-list celebrities voicing animals and princesses from here.