A Time to Hate

My sister is a lady of irrational hatred.

Well that's actually not true. Karalee's not a lady in the slightest (her iTunes password is hughjackmanstwoballs and she once asked me if I would rather do Nick Carter or all the One Direction boys at once), but she does hate things for no reason at all. Actors especially. Sure, she doesn't like people like Kristen Stewart or Anna Kendrick, but she has reasons for those, like the fact that they star in movies she absolutely hates (that is a reason I can agree with).

Ever since I can remember her being acquainted with certain actors, though, she's really just had it out for them. Of the long list, some of the most hated are Bradley Cooper, Matthew McConaughey, Jeremy Renner, and Benedict Cumberbatch.

Whenever I bring up her hatred towards one of them and ask why she has it, she usually goes for their looks. I mean, these actors are all considered attractive by the public, if not in conventional ways, but Karalee is just a judgmental bitch. It's not just the looks.

If I have to guess, I think her hatred comes from seeing some of the actors playing douchebags in movies. Mostly this just refers to Cooper (d-bag in He's Just Not That Into You, The Hangover Part I-III) and McConaughey (like every movie 2000-2009) . This sort of happens a lot. You're so used to seeing these men as different people in movies that sometimes you forget that they're not always like their characters in real life.

For Renner and Cumberbatch, however, I would have to go a little shrink on the problem, because the problem seems to be deeper than just douchebaggery. Both of them have starred in movies with another actor my sister likes. The Avengers not only starred Renner, but also Chris Evans. Cumberbatch was in War Horse with Tom Hiddleston. And when her beloved were getting side-stepped by these other actors, I'm sure my sister got defensive and fought back with a mature, “Yeah, well he's ugly!”

When asked to comment on this subject (over Tumblr, nonetheless), Karalee said, “Jeremy Renner’s voice really bugs me, like he always has some food in there or something. And Bradley Cooper always just plays jerks, so maybe I can’t differentiate between his roles and real life, and idk his face annoys me too.” So yeah.

It's possible for her to get over this, though. She used to hate Channing Tatum, then I think she saw Magic Mike and it went away (wonder how that happened...) So I guess the remedy to her hatred is just starring in a movie as a male stripper. It's only that easy.

The Ugly: He's Just Not That into You

Finishing up my fourth week of this, I've realized that I haven't held up my promise of the good, the bad, and the ugly. I mean, how much longer can I go before I have to write about a film that's really, really awful? I don't like writing about bad movies; I'd much rather write about the good ones. But frankly, I can't write about three of them a week until June without throwing a few dumpster films in the mix. And luckily, I've seen several.

Justin Long holds Ginnifer Goodwin in a Scarlett-and-Rhett embrace as he confesses to her, "You're my exception."

And it's all uphill from there, because the credits start to roll. (Pop a cork. You'll definitely need some wine after all of this cheese.)

He's Just Not That Into You has a lot of problems with it. It's not the acting (I totally believe that Ginnifer Goodwin's character is a sad, desperate dame willing to do anything for love and Bradley Cooper's character is a lying douchebag), it's the writing, the plot, the actions of the characters that makes me cringe every time I watch it.

And this is why romantic comedies have such a bad rap. It's the epitome of why romantic comedies suck so much because it follows the same archetypes as most other ones do.

From the chase to the fall, romantic comedies usually follow a set of points that people feel they need to hit in order to be a good movie. In fact, though, following these points does the opposite.

Some filmmakers are able to break the spell, though, and make a romantic comedy worth sitting through (10 Things I Hate About You, The Princess Bride, Never Been Kissed, Something's Gotta Give, Lars and the Real Girl, for example). These give me hope that one day, the good will outweigh the bad and writers will stop following the archetypes that most screenwriters can't seem to get away from.

Another problem filmmakers seem to make is the classic put-more-stars-in-the-movie-to-make-it-seem-less-awful tactic. He's Just Not That Into You is a perfect example with Justin Long, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Ginnifer Goodwin, Bradly Cooper, Scarlett Johansson, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, and Kevin Connolly. They intertwine all of the characters' stories to make it almost impossible to follow who is longing after whom. Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve followed in these footsteps and got both of them 18% and 7% of Rotten Tomatoes, respectively.

It's not working, people.